Non-Jews are for practice
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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