Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Randomize
