her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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