therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
