So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
