The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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