Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
