You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
