Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
