they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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