He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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