He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I will pee on everything he values.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
