They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
