i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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