please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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