He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
