Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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