he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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