the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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