I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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