You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
