Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
