shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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