i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
