How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
