Dual....:-)
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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