We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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