I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
