Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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