i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
