So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
