And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I look better un-naked...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No subtext here. People are naked.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
