id be glad to
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
