Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
