she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
