What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
