dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Green mimosas i think yes
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
