Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
