Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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