dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
