You really coming over, don't trick.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Randomize
