Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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