i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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