But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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