She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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