Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
