i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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