if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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