he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
