She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
They took my balls.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
