If i could tip my vagina, i would.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
